Thursday, January 31, 2013

A Guiding Word for 2013

Over the past month, I've read many blog posts on choosing words rather than resolutions for the new year.  These - here, here, here, and here - are amazing, but my favorite is on Between Dreams; I've never done something like this before and I found Allie's suggestions exactly the encouragement I needed to get started!  January ends today and I have a better appreciation of the shape that 2013 will take, so I'm ready to share my word:


I said this in 2012 but it's true this year, too: 2013 is going to be a time of change.  I'm settling into a new job, in a few months I'll get married, and soon after that I'll move out of my parents' house into an  apartment that I'll (eventually) share with my husband.  Each of those transitions carries with it a new sense of identity.

The thing is, even though all these changes are exciting, I don't want to completely lose who I am currently.  So my word for 2013 is metamorphosis; while I am moving from one stage of life to another, I will always hold on to the memory of all the identities that I have explored before, and I will create a new one that is a composite of those that have defined me in the past.  We always do, I suppose, but sometimes we're tempted to leave former identities behind and this year I don't want to start from scratch.  I want to build on who I am now.  After all, every butterfly starts out as a caterpillar, right?

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Wedding Wednesday: The Boys

Along with Sarah and Ellie, my Maid of Honor and my bridesmaid, Jon and I are beyond honored that two of his best friends will be standing beside us when we get married. They're not comfortable with the idea of being broadcast on this blog so I won't disrespect them by sharing much here, but I will say that I'm delighted to count them both as my friends as well as Jon's. And since I can't talk about Jon's best men - they're sharing the role - I'll take advantage of the opportunity to explain why asking them to participate in our wedding is another example of why my fiancé is such a great guy!

Of course Jon has close friends from high school and college; I think that everyone sort of sheds the periphery of acquaintances from those years after graduation and strengthens a smaller number of real relationships. But Jon's true core of friends, including these two boys, are those he met when he started school - mates he has known since he was a young child. They all grew up together and have stayed in touch through the years, despite being scattered across the country (and sometimes the world) at different secondary schools, universities, and jobs. It was truly wonderful to be welcomed into this gang with open arms when Jon and I got serious, and it's a huge testament to their loyalty and love for each other that they're so dedicated to being a part of each friend's happiness even across the years and the miles.

To you, boys - thank you from the bottom of my heart!


linking up with something charming today

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Jumpstart January: Vlog

Okay, the audio and the visuals in this video aren't synched up and I'm sorry for that - but, as you'll hear at the end of the vlog, my dad was making fun of me while I recorded it and I couldn't face a second take!  All the blogs and books I mention are linked at the bottom here and I hope you find them useful.  Do email me if you have questions, and further suggestions are always welcome!

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Weekly Roundup

Why do four-day weeks always feel longer than the usual Monday-Friday?  For some reason, the inauguration seems like it was ages ago, and I don't think I've had a minute to breathe since.  So, I've been totally ADD when I've had a chance to browse the interwebs this week, landing on one page for a minute here and another for minute there.  It means I don't know much about anything but I know a little bit about everything!  Here are some of the most interesting links I've found...

snowy dawn, suburban DC; January 24

Speaking of the inauguration, Beyonce was on fire with the National Anthem on Monday, even if she wasn't actually singing live, but Bad Lip Reading Beyonce might be the true Sasha Fierce.  (President Obama is pretty awesome here, too.)

If you're in the mood for some happy/sad crying, as Anne calls it, read this sweet love story.

The clip of Bradley Cooper speaking French has been making the rounds again, and it made me think of Alias, which he was in before he was famous; then I remembered Michael Vartan, who was the main love interest on the show, and how he's also really hot when he speaks French.

It turns out there's a scientific explanation for why, no matter who we were in high school, when we graduated, or how successful we have become since then, John Hughes movies will always resonate with all of us.

Did you guys watch any of the Benghazi hearings on Wednesday?  Hillary Clinton gave a phenomenal tutorial on how to smack down a mansplainer.

A few weeks ago, I told you all that I shattered Jon's dream of living in NYC because I'm afraid we wouldn't be able to afford the quality of life we'd want - and The New York Times agrees with me.

We now expect publicity photos and marketing materials, especially those including celebrities and/or models, to be retouched to perfection, but it turns out that our compulsion to alter images isn't a modern affectation.  I can't wait to see Faking it: Manipulated Photography Before Photoshop, an exhibition that opens at the National Gallery of Art on February 17.

Where does protection against hate speech slam into the right to free speech?  It's complicated, obviously, especially in countries where there is no First Amendment.

This woman has taken to YouTube to teach Americans how to speak with a British accent.  I'm not sure she's aware that there's no such thing as a "British" accent - you can visit just one town in the United Kingdom and think you're hearing completely different languages on one side of the street from the other.

it's that kind of Sunday night...

What have you found this week, dear readers?  Do share!  And I hope you had a lovely weekend.  Here's to Monday!

Friday, January 25, 2013

Frock Fridays: Casual Fridays

Okay, this isn't a frock feature.  I'm sorry!  The title up there is totally false advertising.  But when {av} suggested we link up with the classic pairing of black and white, I knew immediately what I wanted to blog about today.  We've done a few style posts about workplace fashion - here most recently and here back in the spring - and if you follow me on Instagram you've gotten to know my office outfits (and my office bathroom, awkwardly) really well.  But the one thing we haven't talked about in terms of workplace style is casual Fridays.  Let's fix that, shall we?


The outfit on the left is what I wore for my first Friday in the office; if we don't have big meetings, the dress code is flexible.  I still want to feel pulled together, though, and will sometimes need to choose an ensemble that will go take me straight out after work.  I'm loving the black and white combo for this!  The shoes can be switched up - boots or flats for day, depending on the weather, and then I can throw a pair of heels in my bag to change into for the evening - and I'm loyal to my Old Navy Diva skinnies, but what tops should I make sure to have ready for Friday mornings?

Casual Fridays
[ 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 ]

Obviously many of the the pretty shirts above are way out of my price range, but I really am on the hunt! Any suggestions, dear readers?  Let me know what your favorites are and where I can find them!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

[Expletive] Betsy Says

You've seen those [Expletive] Girls Say videos, right?  I follow them on Twitter and retweet 95% of what they come up with.  (Don't judge!  I know you do it, too.)   My favorite spin-off is the Jewish Mothers one; I was aching with laughter by 0:53, at which point I started crying because it hit so close to home. When Eliza made her own... well, I knew I wanted to do the same!

I enlisted my fiancé, my sister, and my dad to help.  They each came up with five things I say the most often, and I'm slightly ashamed to admit that they're all spot on!

Editor's note: after I drafted this post and included Jon and Dad's contributions, Sarah emailed me.  Not only had she given me five examples, but she'd written a fantastic intro (and pasted in a closing tweet) that I have to share with you.

When Betsy first told me that she was writing an [Expletive] Betsy Says post with the help of those who know her best (our dad and Jon), I have to admit I was a bit apprehensive. The whole [Expletive] Girls/Jewish Mothers/Whomever movement amuses its audiences because it parodies the person/group and fits them in a little box – and then lets us laugh at them for their “typical” thoughts, sighs, and outbursts. So, when Betsy asked for my input, my hesitation stemmed from two places: first, I don’t want anything I suggest to be seen as offensive, when in fact, everything I have listed below is meant to be endearing. Secondly, I would never want my suggestions to paint Betsy into a one-dimensional box, the way that parodies sometimes do to their subjects. But with that being said, I trust that you, her Dear Readers, know enough about our multifaceted subject, her other interests and hobbies, as well as her diverse personality to see the following as neither insulting, belittling, nor constricting of who she is.








Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Wedding Wednesdays: Phase Eight

You know how December is the month with the highest volume of engagements?  Okay, I can't actually find statistics proving that's true - but it's what all the wedding blogs say so I'll believe it!  Other than Brandy, Kelly Clarkson, and these two lovely bloggers, though, I don't know anyone who got engaged over the holidays.

However, one of my best friends from college sent out her Save the Dates in December, so I still got some matrimony magic!  She and her fiancé are both English and will be getting married outside of London in July - the couple has had quite the epic romance over the past decade and I can't wait to celebrate with them.  Of course I've already started thinking about what I'll wear, which is why I was thrilled when Phase Eight contacted me about their new lines a few weeks ago!

I've known about Phase Eight for a few years because I always headed straight to their racks in John Lewis when I had a fancy occasion that called for a new outfit, and they have just launched a wedding boutique with gowns for brides, frocks for mums, and dresses for guests.  Remember when I explained last spring (here and here and here) that wedding fashion is a bit different in England?  Well, Phase Eight has everything I'll need to fit in amongst A&J's English friends...

Phase Eight


I especially love the floral dresses!  And the fascinators - well, there's a reason that weddings in England are so much fun.  What would you choose, dear readers?

linking up with something charming today!
I was compensated for this post but all opinions are my own.


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Happy Birthday London Underground!

Jon tells me that everyone in London is bored to tears by this now, but I'm going to share it anyway because some people might not be aware that we have a birthday to celebrate!


On January 9, 1863, the world's first underground train pulled out of Paddington towards Farringdon - and we haven't looked back since!  From 26,000 passengers a day in those early months to 4 million a day in 2012, over the past 150 years the Tube has become an integral part of London life.  There have been tons of articles commemorating the birthday, like this piece from the Guardian with a century and a half of photos, and the celebratory events included the revival of a 19th century steam train that carried passengers along the tracks two weekends ago.  (You can find really cool videos and photos from this on Twitter by searching #Tube150.)  I also read rumors that some of the old ghost stations will be reopened as tourist attractions at the end of the year!

Love or hate the Tube - and, frustrations aside, I know I couldn't have lived in London without it - it's just as iconic as Big Ben or Buckingham Palace.  Happy birthday, London Underground, and here's to the next 150!



Monday, January 21, 2013

Second Inaugural

Far better writers than I will explore the legacy that today will yield; the second inauguration of this country's first black president, held on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and attended by Americans of every background and creed, will hopefully usher in a new era in which we "make these words, these rights, these values – of Life, and Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness – real for every American."  As President Obama said this afternoon, looking out over the Mall towards the Washington Monument and beyond to the Lincoln Memorial, "Being true to our founding documents does not require us to agree on every contour of life; it does not mean we will all define liberty in exactly the same way, or follow the same precise path to happiness. Progress does not compel us to settle centuries-long debates about the role of government for all time – but it does require us to act in our time."

I hope that you were all stirred by the inauguration today.  I hope that we all - whether or not we agree with Obama's statements on women's equality, gay rights, climate change, healthcare, financial reforms, and foreign policy - will be encouraged to find our voices, to take a stand, and to act.  Let's see what we can do with these next four years.




My series about job hunting will return next Monday!
See Follow Your Dreams (part three) and The Hunt for the first two installments.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

The Sunday Currently IV

Saturday morning, January 19, 2013


currently...

enjoying this long weekend! I felt really unwell yesterday; I was terrified of getting the flu so I babied myself with lots of naps and tea and very little movement and, when I woke up this morning, I had totally recovered.  But I still have a full two days off work to use however I want!  And yes, that will include lots of cuddles with Charlie even though I'm no longer couch-bound.  And speaking of Charlie:

glowing with all the love left in the comments on Thursday's post.  It sounds like we all understand that we're really the ones who have been rescued!  No matter how we found our dogs or how they found us, we're blessed to have them in our lives.  I'm glad there are so many of us out there who are foolish for our pets!

browsing David's Bridal with my mom - we'll talk about this more when I publish a Wedding Wednesday post about my dress search, but I don't plan to spend a lot on my gown and so we're considering a few different ways to keep the cost down.  DB is definitely a valid option!  By the way, thank you to Joelle for linking to this article defending David's Bridal - I sometimes feel like I should apologize (though I don't know to whom) for not wanting to drop a fortune on my dress, and this helped me understand the power of the wedding industrial complex.

meeting up with Gesci and her husband tonight for dinner!  I love all blates, of course, because it's so fun to take a great online relationship and explore it in real life, but Gesci especially feels like a kindred spirit.  Charlie and I are already planning our road trip down to North Carolina to visit them - and to meet Sloan, Max. and Mia!

drinking artisanal spirits.  My organization has a big gala coming up in March and the alcohol sponsor came by on Friday afternoon to do a tasting, which may possibly be the best way to end a workweek.  Everyone now knows that niche beers are worth their weight in gold, so apparently the next step is embracing hand-crafted liquor!  My favorites were the flavored "shine" whiskeys from Dark Corner Distillery - delicious and dangerous.

cooking with my dad.  To make sure we set aside quality time together, we've each picked a night to make a family dinner.  (I do Sundays, Mom does Tuesdays, and Dad does Thursdays.)  Dad's not confident in the kitchen so his fall-back is Chinese or pizza, which is fun occasionally but a bit much every week.  So we've been teaming up on our nights - he gives me some ideas, I find a recipe, he goes to the grocery store and does the prep work, and then I take the reins and he becomes my sous-chef!  It's very sweet how seriously he takes the whole process and how pleased he is when we make something yummy.

thinking about how we can redefine success and celebrate the ordinary.  I love that the blogging trend for 2013 seems to be to focus on quality instead of quantity - my favorite post about it is from Design For Mankind, but there are tons of other great ones out there and I'm always discovering more.  This is one blogging bandwagon I'm totally enthusiastic about, and it's something that's applicable to all areas of our lives; a New York Times article from last June quotes David LcCullough, Jr from a commencement speech that he recently gave as urging, “Climb the mountain not to plant your flag, but to embrace the challenge, enjoy the air and behold the view. Climb it so you can see the world, not so the world can see you.”

Monday morning, January 14, 2013

On that note, dear readers, I hope you're having a lovely weekend.  Enjoy the snow, the holiday - whatever you have, make the most of it!

linking up with siddathornton today

Friday, January 18, 2013

Frock Fridays: Power Broker

If you follow me on Twitter or Instagram, you know that I work right in downtown DC, where the corporate veins of the city lead into its political heart.  I love being in the center of the action, and I get a total rush every time I emerge from the depths of the metro in the morning with my fellow commuters - who knows where all of these suited and booted men and women are going and what decisions they'll make that might one day affect me and my country?

the Old Executive Office Building; January 2013

There's never been a TV show that captures this energy like The West Wing.  Confession: I know that everyone's obsessed with Scandal, but I hated the one episode I watched!  Eliza's almost convinced me to give it another try, but Aaron Sorkin's writing wins every time no matter what.  Actually, Twitter probably gave that away, too, since I follow Leo, Josh, Toby, and President Bartlet.  (Leo once replied to a tweet I sent; it was the one of the best experiences of my life, right next to the time I called into the Kojo Naamdi show on NPR with a question about COPPA and got yelled at on air by one of the panelists. God, I am such a nerd!)  There are so many reasons to love The West Wing - the acting and writing are consistently on point, of course, but the storylines are also incredibly inspiring.  As a Vanity Fair article from last April explains,

"There’s a cultural meme or cultural suggestion that Washington is boring, that policy is boring, but it’s important stuff,” says Ezra Klein... In his view, The West Wing served an important cultural function by dramatizing “the immediacy and urgency and concern that people in this town feel about the issues they’re working on.”  ...The West Wing didn’t exist in a bubble. It wasn’t ignorant of, say, the way rapacious lobbyists wield untoward influence over unprincipled politicians; it simply suggested that Washington didn’t have to work that way—if those in power were righteous and good.

One of my favorite things about the show is its exploration of women in power.  From Dr. Bartlet, the president's wife, to CJ Cregg, the Press Secretary, to Donna Moss, the assistant to the Deputy Chief of Staff, each female character has just as much substance in the professional sphere as any of the men.  (By the way, Kate did a really cool post devoted to CJ on Election Day - check it out!)  I was delighted that Josh and Donna ended up together, of course, but I have to admit that I really love the character of Amy Gardner, Josh's occasional love interest and, also occasionally, his legislative sparring partner.  She's intelligent, driven, and savvy, and her very human flaws make her warm and relatable.  Amy considers her femininity an asset like any other and wields it with strength and tact.  Here's the first time we meet her:



Can you imagine what Amy Gardner would have to say about the unrelenting assaults on reproductive rights in this day and age?  Rep. Phil Gingrey (R-Ga) and Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wi) would be shaking in their boots.  If she were on the Hill in 2013... well, a lot of things would be different if life were imagined and scripted by Aaron Sorkin.  But here's how I'd imagine Amy might dress as she fought for women, walking and talking in the corridors of power in Washington today!

power broker

[ dress / blazer / iPad case / shoes / bag / earrings / watch ]

linking up with {long distance loving} today!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Dear Charlie


Little Pie Face,

Monday was our six month anniversary; can you believe that?  You've been in our family for half a year, though to be honest I can't remember not loving you.  It seems so entirely natural to have rearranged my whole life around you that I don't understand how I didn't feel like something was missing before.  But you know, I was concerned recently because one of my readers anonymously told me that our relationship "weirded her out."  I worried that maybe there was something wrong with me for loving you completely.

So I talked to my friends who have dogs - friends who would pay for vet visits before home repairs, friends who slept on air mattresses for days to be near their ill pets, friends who plan evenings out and weekends away to accomodate their dogs' routines - and I thought that maybe actually I wasn't so strange.  (If I was, at least I wasn't alone.)  Then I read the letter that Fiona Apple wrote to her fans about her cancelled tour and the blog post that Neil Gaiman published after the death of his dog.  And I cried for them and I felt truly heartbroken for my anonymous reader because she probably doesn't know what it's like to have someone like you.

I've talked about you on this blog before, Sir Charles, when I shared our "Hey, It's Okay" confessions and when I wrote about Adopt a Shelter Dog Month and a few other times over the summer (here and here, especially) when you were still new to us and we were still figuring each other out.  Now we've got each other sussed.  You know that all you have to do is love me with your nose-crinkling smile and your frenzied tail-wags and your snuffling kisses and I'll bend over backwards to make up for the 16 months of your life when we didn't have you.

You deserve it, I think.  After all, you're mostly a good boy.  We're still working on Get Off The Counter but I do realize that it's my fault if I leave something tempting out and it gets eaten.  No Jumping On People is a work in progress but I understand that sometimes you just need to be as close to us as possible.  Don't Leap Over The Fence is... well, we totally failed at that one, which is why we're getting a new and higher fence around the backyard.  But you do sit and stay and come when we ask you to - unless there are rabbits and squirrels around, in which case all bets are off.  You don't make too much noise - except when you bark nobly to protect us from the Invisible Intruder or you grumble conversationally just to make sure we haven't forgotten you're there or you sigh heavily because needing to change positions mid-nap is such an inconvenience or you grunt contentedly because you've found the best angle at which to be scratched.  Anyway, the point is, really, that you're the best Fazül we could have dreamed of adopting.

I sometimes wonder what your life was like before we found each other.  The good people at Lab Rescue aren't sure, but you seem totally unscathed by whatever it was that led you to need to be adopted.  I didn't understand how you could be so unaffected by having been given up in the first place or how you could be so nonchalant about being part of our family now - not that you take us for granted, of course, but you accept it as just the way things are - until I read an excerpt from a new book by John Homans titled What's A Dog For?  He explains, "It’s not that a dog accepts the cards it’s been dealt; it’s not aware that there are cards."

Sweet boy, in six months you've taught me that life isn't about the hand you're playing but the pure fact that you get to play.  You've taught me that unconditional love is all-encompassing but still makes room for so much else.  And you've taught me that sometimes the best thing you can do for your soul is to run through the wind but that home is always waiting when the need for freedom is exhausted.

Often, when I leave work in the evening, I'm totally drained.  I get off the metro and that 3/4 mile walk back home seems endless.  But as soon as I turn the corner into our neighborhood, the thought of the greeting that's waiting for me hastens my step and brings a smile to my face.  And when I get through the door, your absolute joy at having me back fills me with wonder; I am rejuvenated by your unbridled delight.

Thank you for all of that, O Squishy One.  I love you always and with everything.



Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Wedding Wednesday: Bridesmaids (The Gowns)

I'm so glad you guys enjoyed meeting my bridesmaids!  Sarah and Ellie are beautiful girls inside and out, and their participation will make our wedding the most amazing day.  I can't wait to introduce you to our groomsmen in a few weeks, but first the gowns!

[ from left: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 ]

When Jon and I talked about our aesthetic, I promised that we wouldn't go overboard on the pink.  We liked the idea of gray bridesmaids dresses; the darker shades, like those above, would be equally flattering with Sarah's  glowing olive skin and Ellie's peaches and cream complexion.

We flirted for a minute with picking cocktail-length dresses.  I thought that maybe they'd be more versatile, but wasn't sure they'd match the formality of the morning suits that the boys will be wearing.  (More on that in a future post!)  Sarah and Ellie didn't feel strongly either way, though Jon preferred long gowns.  In the end, we decided to go with floor-length frocks so that their elegance would pair well with the rest of the wedding party.  Also, Sarah and Ellie both have tons of shorter fancy dresses that they wear all the time - gowns are a bit more special!

A quick note on money: I don't know if you remember my budget spreadsheet, where I included a line for "clothes and beauty for bride and maids," but one of the differences between US and UK weddings is that the bride pays for the bridesmaids' dresses.  (Maybe this is why most weddings in the UK have smaller bridal parties, like Megan said!)  I'm sure every bride swears this, but I was very happy to put aside a decent chunk of money for them because I really want the girls to be able to wear their gowns after the wedding for any future black-tie events they might attend.

So, because of that, I decided to go with a brand that Sarah and I know and love: J.Crew.  Once we'd filtered our search to gray and long, we were left with four options, all silk chiffon.  (There's a fifth dress online now, the Rosa, that wasn't available a few months ago.)  I love the look of bridesmaids wearing styles that work for their individual bodies and personalities, so I told the girls that they could pick whichever they wanted.  When I went to visit Jon in September, I brought Ellie her top two choices to try on, and when we saw her in them we all agreed that there was a clear winner.  Sarah ordered her two favorite dresses to try on, too, and texted me a picture of her final selection - and it was the same dress that Ellie had chosen!

We haven't talked about anything else for the girls yet - accessories and shoes and things will be decided down the line - but they look stunning in this dress and I can't wait to see everything come together in August!  I can't say enough in praise of the J.Crew weddings team, who mailed me swatches and answered my questions and sent me a follow-up email and even gave me notice about the discount (25% if you spend $150 or more, which made a big difference!) that was about to kick in.  The experience of choosing our bridesmaids' dresses, which I'm sure can be a minefield of hurt feelings and awkwardness, really was a joy.  It's encouraged me for my own search!

linking up with something charming today


Tuesday, January 15, 2013

On Being Cold In England

Hello to everyone finding me via Jenna's blog today!  Welcome to Betsy Transatlantically.  Have a look around - I hope you enjoy, and say hello so I can get to know you!  (To my regular readers: I'm guest posting over at A Home Away From Home about a great new website that will help me and Jon continue to have adventures together even while we're on different sides of the Atlantic.  Go check it out - and, if you don't know Jenna yet, stay a while!)


My first few trips to England were during the summer; we somehow generally had sunny skies and relative warmth throughout our visits.  But, in 2007, during the miserable are-we-or-aren't-we of the aftermath of my Parisian relationship, I stayed with Harry in Yorkshire for ten days over Christmas.  Emotional entanglement aside, I had a wonderful time - we went to Ripon Cathedral for Christmas Eve Mass, took Brontë-esque rambles on the moors with the dogs, explored York for an afternoon, and even drove north to celebrate New Year's Eve in Edinburgh.

We didn't have any snow while I was there, but the temperatures hovered just above freezing the whole time.  That wasn't a problem in and of itself since I knew that sort of cold from winters in DC and New York.  What I wasn't used to was the pervasive damp and gloom.  In England, the rain seeps through your pores, the wind whistles into every cranny between your bones, and the winter huddles around your soul to soak up any warmth you have left.  Add to that less than eight hours of sunlight a day - if, in fact, there is sun at all - and those Tuesdays in January can pass excruciatingly slowly.

So the thing I remember most about that trip was how the British approach to cold is completely different to any I'd experienced before.  In America, we attack winter individually; we turn up the heat and run from house to car to office with barely a pause between.  You don't have to be near anyone else to be warm, you just have to adjust your thermostat and watch a YouTube video of wood burning in a fireplace.  Don't get me wrong, I love how we immediately go to technology to make our lives more comfortable.  Turning up the heat should always be the first option if you can afford the bill!  But I found that while keeping warm in England is much more old fashioned, it's also much more communal.

In England during the winter, there are a few steps you have to get through before you can even think about adjusting the thermostat - if the house even has central heat in the first place!


1. PUT ON THE KETTLE
The British are famously obsessed with tea.  Okay, obsessed might be a strong word.  But tea is an integral part of their culture, and a Brit's first instinct in almost any situation is to put on the kettle. (William Gladstone, a 19th century Prime Minister, said, "If you are cold, tea will warm you; if you are too heated, it will cool you; if you are depressed, it will cheer you; if you are excited, it will calm you.”)  If I had a pound for every time Jon's mother asked if we wanted tea while staying with them, we could probably pay for our whole wedding in one weekend's visit.  They almost never put away the milk jug in the winter, first because it's probably just as cold on the counter as it is in the fridge and second because it gets used every five minutes!

2. FIND A JUMPER
In England, a pull-over sweater is a jumper.  Got it?  Good.  Now, woe betide you if you moan about being cold in an English house while wearing only a layer or two.  You have to be wearing at least three layers before you have the right to whinge - and even then, someone will suggest you find a duvet to wrap around yourself.

3. LIGHT THE FIRE
I've been to Jon's parents' house at least once in every month during the year, and the only times we didn't have a fire going in the sitting room were in July and August.  After tea and jumpers, lighting the fire is the next instinctive thing the English (those who are lucky enough to have working fireplaces, that is) do when they're cold.  And this is where the communal aspect of staying warm comes in - there are only so many fires to be lit and duvets to go around, so everyone generally congregates in the sitting room when it's cold.  We close the door to the rest of the house and create an oven of a room, venturing out only to get more tea.  We might all be doing our own thing, but we're doing it together.

4. HEAD TO THE KITCHEN
Speaking of ovens, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the kitchen as another key room in the battle against the cold.  When Jon's mother is cooking dinner, it's the second-warmest place in the house, and we all find excuses to meander in; we stretch out our hands towards the oven and soak up the radiating heat.  Harry's parents had an Aga - read Gesci's great post about the cult of the Aga in England! - and we'd actually fight with their dogs and cats for a spot in front of it in the mornings as we slowly woke up.  Anyway, the kitchen is where the kettle lives, and you're almost always in need of more tea!

my back garden, London; December 2011

So there you have it, dear readers: how to keep warm during an English winter - the insider's guide.  I hope it helps if you plan to visit any time between September and April!  (Winter is a state of mind, you know, not tied to dates on the calendar.)  British friends, have I forgotten any other tips?  Do share!

Saturday, January 12, 2013

I've Got Influence

Well, someone thinks so, and she signed me up to Influenster just before Christmas.  I'd seen other bloggers post reviews of sample products - to be honest, it wasn't really ever something I was interested in doing, but who can turn a box of free goodies during the holidays?  Of course, I didn't get the package until after I'd returned from England, and then it took another week for me to try everything out...

NYC New York Color - Liquid Lipshine in Nude
If I apply anything other than chapstick, it'll either be a serious lipstick (red, because you might as well go all the way if you're going to make the effort) or a natural gloss with a hint of shine.  This lipgloss was perfect; the nude didn't wash me out, which some can, and it shimmered without being glittery.  And - bonus - it wasn't that sticky!  This is definitely going to live in my make-up bag.

Kiss Nail Dress
I only wear classic nailpolish, if any, and almost always stick to light colors.  (The trend of dark fingernails still freaks me out, actually.)  These stickers looked like fun, but they weren't me!  I've sent them to my sister to try on.

Quaker Real Medleys - Summer Berry Oatmeal
I love oatmeal, especially the instant kind.  Give me a packet of Quaker Apples & Cinnamon for breakfast and I'll be yours for the rest of the day.  But I found their Summer Berry version to be way too sweet.  Even when I picked out the dried fruit, the oatmeal seemed to be saturated with a saccharine taste.  It might be because I wasn't allowed to eat sugary cereal when I was a child and still haven't developed my early-morning sweet tooth, but this did not taste like a breakfast food at all.  It might be better as a late-night treat.

Eboost Natural Energy - Pink Lemonade
My go-to non-caffeinated drink is water; I only ever have flavored water after a run when I add Nuun tablets to help me recover.  However, though I hated the one sip of flavored bottled water I tried, I was enthusiastic about the Eboost powder - I guess I was sold on the "energy" language on the packet.  But, like with the oatmeal, I found it much sweeter than I can stand.  My mother, who loves Crystal Light, tried a sip, but she agreed it tasted too sugary to drink the whole glass.  I know the packet is only 10 calories, but what's the point if it doesn't taste good?

This wasn't achieved with the Goody Quikstyle Brush,
but it's the only good picture I have of my hair! #confession
Goody Quikstyle Brush
Oh man. I love this.  It's possible that girls with hair like mine will be the only people in the world to love this strange object, but it's exactly what I've been looking for all my life.  I have curly hair, you know, and don't style it at all.  I comb out all the tangles in the shower, when my hair is full of conditioner, and then, when I hop out, I squeeze - never rub! - the ponytail dry with a towel.  Then I brush it with a paddle brush that has nylon bristles.  The last step is to flip my head over scrunch - never rub! - my curls towards my scalp with the towel, and then straighten back up.  Until my hair is completely dry, which can take over an hour, I don't touch it again.  The worst thing I could do would be to create friction between my hair and something else.  So the Goody Quikstyle Brush is ideal because the towel within the bristles help dry my hair within my normal routine without causing it to frizz at all.  Im fact, it cut my dying time in half while maintaining my usual bounce, which meant that I was able to style my curls in the way I wanted in front of my mirror at home instead of in the bathroom at work.  Bonus!

I was also sent a Montagne Jeunesse Face Mask and a discount for Sole Society, but I misplaced the mask in the chaos of unpacking from London (which makes me sad because I love masks) and I can't spend money on new shoes now even if they are cheap.

So that's lowdown on my first box o' treats!  To be honest, I don't think I'll sign up for another one - I've loved partnering with stores and brands in the past and will continue to do so, but this isn't quite my style.  It's been interesting to read other bloggers' reviews, though!  And let me know if you've tried any of these products - agree/disagree?

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Time I Studied Abroad

The time I moved to London for my MA in September 2008 - which was the seventh time I'd been to England, if you can believe that - wasn't my first or even my second experience studying abroad.  Technically, the very first time I studied abroad was in 2001, the summer before my sophomore year of high school, when I did a month-long program in France.  (We spent three days in Paris, two weeks in St. Malo, went out on homestays near Rouen for a week, and then finished up with two days in Paris.)  The second time I studied abroad, though, was the first time I really made it count.

This very week in 2007, I flew to France to live and study in Paris with a group of Columbia undergrads for the spring semester (and then stayed for most of the summer).  It was a great experience, though hindsight is always rosy, and I learned a lot - about the French people and culture, about medieval history, about art and architecture and music, and, of course, about life and love.  Many of the kids on my program went to a different city in Europe every weekend, but I totally got into life in Paris.  I sang at the American Cathedral near the Champs Elysée, tutored half a dozen French children and two adults in English, and dated a British boy who was working there on his gap year.  Okay, those things aren't too Parisian - but I definitely put down roots.  And, because of that, it was the first time I truly experienced culture shock!

So, in honor of having moved to Paris for seven months six years ago, here are a few of my favorites from The Time I Studied Abroad.

WHEN EVERYONE POSTS PICTURES
OF THEIR THANKSGIVING FEASTS

WHEN I GET TO THE TOP OF
ANOTHER IMPORTANT TOWER

WHEN THE WAITER ASKS IF
WE'D LIKE WINE WITH OUR MEAL


WHEN I SUCCESSFULLY NAVIGATE
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION FOR THE FIRST TIME

WHEN MY FRIENDS AND I SEE A GROUP OF OBNOXIOUS AMERICAN GIRLS 
How about you, dear readers - did you study abroad?  Which of the .gifs made you nod and smile and say, "Yup, been there!"

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Wedding Wednesday: Bridesmaids (The Girls)


I'm delighted to introduce my bridesmaids to you today, dear readers!  There are so many wonderful people in our lives that, when Jon and I started writing up a list of everyone we wanted to give a role to in our wedding, we found we had more participants than guests.  So we went with the most obvious and most intimate choice for the girls who will stand up with us on the day - my sister is my Maid of Honor and Jon's sister is my only bridesmaid.

There are so many cute ways to ask your best girls to be your bridesmaids, but because Jon and I sort of slid into our engagement (and because Sarah and Ellie were in Boston and England, respectively) there never really was a formal opportunity to ask our sisters properly.  I sort of almost managed to propose MOH-ness to Sarah in Hallmark style: I posted her a letter in the spring, once Jon and I had agreed we would be getting married, but requested she not open it until I said so.  When Jon proposed a few weeks later, I shared the official news with Sarah by telling her it was time to read the letter!  Ellie actually was asked earlier, quite by accident and in the chaos of the moment.  Jon's whole family toasted us at Easter, after we had let them know it was definitely eventually happening, and I got swept up in the love and happiness of the champagne and Ellie agreed to be my bridesmaid right on the spot!

We'll talk gowns next week, but Jon and I are going tell you a little bit about these two gorgeous girls first...


This is my sister Sarah.  She's two years and one day younger than I am, we hated sharing birthday parties when we were little, and we have dozens of pictures of us together from the early '90s where I'm dressed up in Mom's finest silk blouses and pearls and Sarah is... naked.  So now you really know everything there is to know about my sister!  Just kidding, but I have written about her before (here and here, for example) and she's even guest-posted (here for Frock Fridays and here in vlog form), so she's probably pretty familiar to you if you've been reading Betsy Transatlantically for a while.

It goes without saying that there's no one I'd rather have as my Maid of Honor.  Sarah's moral compass has usually tended more towards north than mine and she has very high standards for those she lets into her inner circle, so I cried with happiness when I texted her a few months ago that Jon had asked me to post him Combos and she wrote back "That's my brother-in-law!"  She's always supported me and encouraged me, even when she's thought that I might be a bit cray, as she'd say, and I'm honored that she'll be standing next to me when I get married.  Sarah, if you're reading this - I love you.


And here's Jon on Ellie:
So my little sister is called Ellie and we go back a long way - I've known her for a whole 22 years now. Crazy. Anyway, Ellie and I have a lot in common so she seemed like an ideal choice for a Bridesmaid - we grew up in the same area, shared things like parents (still do!), and we even today regularly find the time in our super-busy lives to see each other, even at Christmas! Ok, flippant British remarks used to cover up emotion aside, Ellie is in all seriousness a wonderful sister to have - I think it's fair to say we share the same sense of humour and outlook on life, and I love her for the fact that my getting married will not change how she sees me for even a second. However, I am proud that my greatest accomplishment, in her eyes, is to bring such a glamorous, wonderful and beautiful American girl into the family - which is good, because I also see it as my greatest triumph. Right, that is as much affection I can bear to give in blog form - Ellie, you're an awesome sister and I am also genuinely honoured that you will be by our side; if you're reading this - then stop procrastinating and do some work!


Next week - the gowns!

linking up with something charming today!