Wedding Wednesday: Hurricanes Hardly Happen

Sandy, the epic hurricane that battered the East Coast earlier this week, didn't do much to us.  Our garden is flooded and there are a few branches on the ground, but we never lost power or were truly freaked out by the elements.  (I guess that someone decided we needed a break after the summer derecho...) My heart and prayers go out to everyone who was seriously affected by the storm, but I do have to admit that, at least on our little patch of land, things don't look too different from Jon's parents' house/yard after a few normal gross English spring days.

So, yesterday, I thought about that - and then Dad and I started singing and one thing led to another and wham I had a blog post!

(If you're curious, the song was The Rain in Spain from My Fair Lady and the lightbulb line was "in Hartford, Hereford, or Hampshire / hurricanes hardly happen.")

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Let's review the facts:

1. I am getting married in Suffolk.
2. The average for August in East Anglia is 8.3 days and 55.8mm of rain.
3. Central England has recorded the following levels of rainfall on annually on Aug. 24:

Technically, August is one of the driest months in England.  However, from the above information, I think it's safe to assume that we have a good chance of gray skies at the very least on our wedding day.  So let's talk about contingency plans!

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Our wedding is primarily indoors, so we actually won't be too affected even if it ends up bucketing down.  We are hoping to have our cocktail hour outside in a courtyard; if it's just cloudy or threatening, we should be fine.  A marquee (or, in American, a tent) to cover the space isn't an option if we want to stay within budget (unless someone feels like giving us a spare £400 - anyone?) so if it does really rain we'll have to stay inside.  There's enough space in the Brusiyard Hall Barn that, if we rearrange things, the cocktail bit of the reception can be accommodated inside - at least, I hope there is!

We will have to seriously rethink how we'll do our photos, though.  Our venue is stunning and the grounds are beautiful, too, so we were planning on doing most of the portraiture and family shots outside.  But I have total faith that Tarah will come up with a ton of creative ideas if that doesn't work out.  There are bits of the Hall from each of the last five centuries, each with their own character and charm, so I know we'll get some great pictures even if we have to be primarily indoors.  And if we insist on a few shots in the rain?  Well, that's what wellies and umbrellas are for!

[ clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 ]

I've heard good things about this umbrella-hire company, so it might be worth looking into that just to get our guests into the barn intact.  But other than that, rain isn't the worst thing - I bet we'll have tons of fun staying dry inside!  Actually, now that I think about it, eating and drinking and dancing and making merry in a warm, twinkling, timbered barn bedecked with flowers and greenery sounds lovely.  Bring it on, England!

Forever Home / Rescue Me

October is Adopt a Shelter Dog Month - did you know that?  Me neither, but it's the perfect excuse to tell you more about Charlie, how we came to have him, and the amazing joy that he has brought to our lives.

My parents bought an eight week old yellow Labrador from a breeder when I was nine; for 13 years, Snickers was the best companion a girl could want.  I've known for a while that I wanted to get my own dog as soon as I responsibly could and so, with Mom and Dad's approval, I started looking into Lab Rescue when I realized I'd be moving back to DC.  Why Lab Rescue, you ask?  Well, first of all, I was realistic about my ability to properly care for and train a puppy.  I wanted a dog that was housebroken and that could be left alone for a few hours a day without destroying everything in reach.  Second, buying a purebred lab from a breeder would be prohibitively expensive.  And third - most importantly, actually - I knew that there were dozens of wonderful dogs in my area who were desperate for loving forever homes.

We don't know what Charlie's life was like before we adopted him in July.  Based on the records we have, we think that we're his fifth home - he had his first owners, and then he was in a shelter, and then he stayed in a vet's kennels, and then he was fostered with Lab Rescue.  He doesn't seem to have been abused in any way; he must just not have been wanted.  (Or, possibly, his owners were unable to care for him appropriately and so gave him up, but then he probably wouldn't have gotten to the shelter in the first place, so who knows.)  Gesci, who has adopted two dogs, told me recently that her husband's argument against adopting an adult dog is that you miss out on formative months and years, which I understand, but I think that it's also exactly the argument for adopting an adult dog.  Rescues probably haven't had the best of experiences, and it's a blessing to be able to give them a loving forever home.

And, equally, it's a blessing to be a forever home.  It's only been a few months, but I can't remember a time before we had Charlie and he's in every vision I have of my future.  I could describe how my heart glows when Charlie wakes me up with snuffles and kisses in the morning or how I get butterflies when I hear him running down the stairs to greet me when I come home from work in the afternoon.  I could go on about how he stretches when he's happy or how he dances in a circle of excitement when he sees his leash or how he looks optimistically at each tree just in case there's a squirrel.  I could tell you about how I'm mentally decorating the apartment I'll share with Jon to be Charlie-friendly or about how I can't wait until we're one of those couples that goes jogging with a leash and a stroller.  But you've seen my Instagram feed and you've read my tweets, so you know.  I won't overload you with more gushing.  What I will close on, though, is this: please think about adopting a shelter dog.  If you're considering getting a pet, remember the thousands of animals across the country in need of love and care.  And ask yourself if you could be a forever home.

photo credits

Write For Betsy Run Health

Every time I sit down to write a full blog post about my running, I make it through three or four drafts before giving up.  Either I seem naive or come off as arrogant - I don't know why, but everything I try to put into words sounds like something I'd hate to read on another blog.  So then I head over to Megan, where she writes what I want to say exactly as I wish I could say it.  Who better to guest post on running?  Thanks, friend!

me, Mom, Jen, and Megan; Run for Roses 5k, June 2012

The always elegant Betsy asked me to do a guest post for her, and I was simultaneously honored and terrified.  What in the world was I going to write about?  Clearly, no one wants to know about my clothing choices (holey sweatpants, tank top, hair in messy topknot), and I've never been to England (unless you count the airport, which I don't).  So I asked her what she wanted me to write about.  I don't remember the response, but scribbled in my "do these things" notebook in pink ink is the phrase "write for betsy run health."  Yes, I do take good notes.

You can read on my blog why I started running and the obstacles I've faced, so I won't repeat that here.  But I would like to talk about what I've learned by taking up running.

I am not what the average person would think of as the typical runner.  I look nothing like those amazing athletes you saw on the Olympics.  I'm short and curvy.  I'm not fast.  But I'm still a runner.  I grew up in a small town and went to a super small grade school and junior high.  There were 12 girls in my 8th grade graduating class.  That meant tons of opportunity to play sports, because hey, they needed to fill out the teams.  I played volleyball and softball.  I was a cheerleader.  I wasn't particularly good at any of these things.  In fact, I was fairly terrible (though I was a good cheerleading base because if nothing else, I am solid).  I'm pretty sure that my batting average one season was .000.  I'm not coordinated whatsoever, so sports really aren't my thing, and team sports are the worst because I hate to let others down.  Thankfully, I left them behind once I got to high school.  I was lucky to live in a state where, as a member of the marching band, I didn't have to take any PE classes.  I did have to take them in college, but I chose rotations that were clearly not team-sport oriented  - Handball, Racquetball (both chosen due to the gym's proximity to my dorm), Latin Ballroom, Fencing, and something else that I can't remember.

But with the exception of the random ballroom class, all of those things had one thing in common - winning and losing.  And when you lose 99% of the time, it kind of stops being fun.  I know, I know, it's not about whether you win or lose, it's about how you play the game.  But it's nice to win occasionally.  Or to at least have a chance at winning.

When I discovered running, though, it was like my perspective shifted.  Yes, people do still "win" in races, but there are no real losers.  Winning doesn't depend on how others perform.  It's all about you and your personal performance.  When I ran my personal best half marathon, the official winner of the race had probably already gone home and showered by the time I finished.  But that doesn't matter.  I ran an amazing race, and I'm so proud of that day.  I hope to improve my half marathon time sometime next year.  And it doesn't matter how anyone else in the race does - I only have to worry about myself.

The best part?  Running can still be a team sport!  One of the greatest things about team sports is the camaraderie, having people to cheer for you and commiserate with you when things don't go as planned.  You can still have that group of friends you run with who are there for you no matter what the outcome.  But you don't have to worry about holding them back (as I always did).  I run with friends who are much faster than me.  I run with friends who are slower than me.  We don't often run the races "together," but we meet up before and after the race and celebrate everyone's accomplishments.  Sometimes I run races "alone," and when I get home, my team experience happens online when I share my race with friends.

I wish I could share this knowledge with young me and show myself that I can go out and be active and healthy and not have to worry about losing all the time or holding the team back.  I avoided most athletic pursuits for years because I was embarrassed about how terrible I was at everything.  I went to the gym and hit the elliptical or the bike, but that was it.  I wasn't setting goals for myself, and the team atmosphere was completely gone.  I grew up in a household where my mother kicked us out of the house and told us to go play outside, so I did get some physical activity, but were I a kid of today, I would probably be holed up in the house with a book or a computer.  

I love programs (like Girls on the Run) that take kids out and teach them just how empowering running truly can be.  I love running into nervous new runners at races and seeing their excitement when they finally cross that finish line.  There is nothing better than watching the end of the race when people are finishing, particularly those in the back of the pack, and seeing the looks of elation on their faces.  It's a great feeling that I think everyone should get to experience.

And it's not just about racing.  Even weekend training runs can be empowering and cathartic all at the same time.  It's a chance to focus on me.  A chance to clear my head.  A chance to push myself to see just what I can do.  And those endorphins?  Best drug ever.

If you had told me ten years ago that I would be writing a blog post talking about the power of running, I would have called you crazy.  But I have learned so much as a runner.  I have learned that my body can do things that I never thought it could.  I have experienced the feeling of crossing the finish line of a race I wasn't sure I could finish.  I have felt the euphoria of a good run (and the pain of a bad run) and the stress relief that every run brings.  It has made me a healthier and happier person and it is something that I want to share with everyone.

Halloween in the Neighborhood

My neighborhood does Halloween right.  When I was growing up, there were a lot of kids in the area who were around the same ages as Sarah and me, so we all gathered every year to trick or treat together.  A family down the street would throw a party; we'd fortify ourselves with pizza or beer, depending on age, and we'd head out to stock up on candy.  Once we'd made the rounds, we'd return to the host house and count up our hauls while watching movies.  (This is where I first saw Hocus Pocus and Father of the Bride, which means it's where/when I learned what virgins and condoms are.  The virgin explanation made sense, but I thought that condoms were like special seatbelts for men until I was about 12.  Thanks, neighbors!)

Anyway, I haven't been part of the local Halloween scene for more than a decade, but I'm ready to jump back in this year!  And even though I'm not in the right age bracket to be clued in about the kids in the neighborhood, Charlie and I see tons of children waiting at bus stops in the morning, so I'm optimistic about getting a good crowd.   (Be prepared for some serious cute on Tuesday, by the way, when I post photos of Charlie in costume!)  Everyone's in on the fun - the houses are bedecked with spiderwebs and pumpkins and skeletons and ghosts and ghoulishness galore.

Happy Halloween, dear readers!  I'd love to hear about your plans - will you be getting into the spirit of the holiday?

all photos taken by me, October 2012

The Friday Currently II

Wheaton Regional Park, MD; October 2012
p.s. if the water isn't moving for you, click on the picture! it's too cool.

Sorry, dear readers; this week's blogging schedule is a bit turned around.  Frock Fridays on a Thursday? The Sunday Currently on a Friday?  And Tuesday's continuation of the Follow Your Dreams series was supposed to be posted on Monday... but sometimes you've just got to switch things up.  An editorial calendar can only take you so far!

Actually, one of the things that frustrates me about planning my posts in advance is that I feel like I can't be as spontaneous.  (Duh, you say.  I know.)  In my first year of blogging, I often felt stuck without interesting topics to write about.  Now that I'm much more on top of things, there seems to be inspiration everywhere - and no place to blog about it, since I've already scheduled posts for the weeks ahead!  So I love throwing in a Currently every once in a while.  It's nice to check in briefly to see where we are at the moment, don't you think?

And, if you're new here, welcome!  This is who I am right now - go ahead and check out my about me and the archives to see who I've been since I started blogging.  Do leave a comment to say hello so I can get to know you, too!

currently...

reading... on my new Kindle! (Thanks, Nana and Pappy!)  Now I can start catching up on all the bestsellers that I see everyone tweeting about - the first on the list is Gone, Girl by Gillian Flynn.  I also really want to read the last book in the Giver Quartet by Lois Lowry, Son.  The Giver, a dystopic novel about a totalitarian post-apocolyptic society, was one of my favorite books when I was a kid, and I always wondered what happened after the sled ride at the end.

watching... Nashville.  Is anyone else obsessed with this show?  I am one of the least southern girls out there, but the music speaks to my soul.  I mean, seriously.  The drama in Nashville - the cat fights, the love triangles, the professional insecurity - it's totally overblown but it's also completely relatable, and only country crooning can match all the crazy emotions.

researching... the seven initiatives on the Maryland ballot, one of which could legalize gay marriage in the state.  I'm not as aware as I'd like to be about all of the issues that are being debated, even on the national stage, and it's frustrating when I can't articulate my opinions because I don't have the knowledge to back them up.  But, now more than ever, maybe, it's crucial to be well-informed!

waiting... for November 17th, when Jon comes to DC for his first visit since I moved back from London!  He's here for a whole week, and we've got so much planned - there's Thanksgiving, of course, with all of its familial obligations, but we're also going to start registering for our wedding gifts and finish working on our wedding website.  Plus, this is going to be his first introduction to Charlie, which is  big deal.  Speaking of...

beaming... with pride for Charlie!  We're halfway through basic obedience classes, and he's a star.  We don't know much about his life before he was taken into Lab Rescue, but you can tell that he was trained in the fundamentals, which helps.  Beyond that, though, he's incredibly food-motivated, so the trainer loves using him as an example for the other dogs because he catches on so fast when there are treats around!  (By the way, I don't understand the concept of dogs who aren't food-motivated. I know they exist, but... are they really dogs?  Not sure.)

running... much more!  My friend (and running guru) Megan has warned me to keep health and safety in mind as I increase my milage and my pace, but even being cautious I've found that I've definitely left the plateau I was stuck on for most of the summer and my progress feels amazing.  When I started Couch to 5k last December, my goal was to run a 5k in March, which I completed successfully, and a 10k Turkey Trot in November, which I've signed up for.  And between now and then, I've got a 5 mile race in Annapolis on November 3rd and a Glow-in-the-Dark 5k in DC on November 9th.  How cool is that?

contemplating... religion - or, maybe more specifically, the cultural and spiritual connection that comes with religion.  I went to a family friend's Bat Mitzvah in New York the other weekend, and was stunned to experience unexpected joy and community in the synagogue after having been absent for so long.  And then, this past Monday, I teared up at Evensong at the National Cathedral; I was filled with such peace and an overwhelming feeling of homecoming.  This is probably worth a longer post another time, but both episodes gave me a lot to think about, especially as Jon and I continue talking about the kind of life we want to share and the kind of family we (eventually) want to start.

planning... the amazing giveaway that I'm going to throw when I hit 200 followers!  Check back soon to see what I've picked as my favorite transatlantic offerings - but, in the meantime, good luck with Friday and have the most lovely weekend.  I'll be tweeting and Instagramming from Boston, so I'll see you around!

Thursday's Frock Fridays: Gala Night

Before we get to the style, I want to wish {av} congratulations on an exciting milestone: 100 weeks of Fridays Fancies!  More than a hundred bloggers link up regularly, and I feel that joining in has introduced me to such a great community that I might not have found otherwise.  If you don't participate, head over tomorrow and check out the magic that {av} encourages!

In celebration, our suggested theme this week was "party best," which worked really well for me because I have two black-tie events on the cards for tomorrow night.  I was originally planning to attend the Halloween Gala at the Embassy of Italy, for which you are asked to wear a fancy costume or a mask in the Venetian style.  Because I'm heading up to Boston very early on Saturday morning to see Sarah, I decided it would be wise to get an early night - but I wanted to keep the inspiration for today's post.

And you know how, sometimes, I make a point of telling you that I picked items for Frock Fridays with a realistic budget in mind?  This is not one of those times.  The grand total of this outfit comes to $11,118. Hey, a girl can dream...

[ dress / mask / clutch / earrings / bracelet / shoes ]

But wait!  I said that there are two black-tie parties in my diary tomorrow night - you caught that, dear readers, didn't you? (Clever things.)  At the last minute, I was invited to join a work contact at Theater Washington's annual gala.  Even though I still have a 6am flight to catch on Saturday morning, I couldn't pass up this opportunity, socially or professionally.  So I'll be bopping around the Four Seasons in Georgetown tomorrow, acting like I'm wearing four figures' worth of couture and jewels - see you there!

Wedding Wednesday: Sweets for the Sweets

Can you believe that we last discussed cake in August?  But I have been thinking a lot about dessert lately - this was made the other weekend, and it was mind-bendingly delicious - and it's time to catch you up.

When Jon and I were in Suffolk in September, we made an appointment with a local wedding cake lady for Sunday afternoon; unfortunately, she emailed me late the day before to tell me that she had a family emergency and needed to reschedule.  I replied right away saying that I understood and would be happy to have a further conversation when things settled down on her end.  Given that corresponding with this woman in the weeks leading up to our appointment was like pulling teeth, I wasn't too surprised to never hear from her again.

Happily, though, Jon's mother had a solution up her sleeve.  There was a cake shop in a nearby town - why didn't I call them to see if they could squeeze me in?  So I rang up Vanilla Patisserie, with only a hint of panic in my voice, and managed to arrange an appointment for Monday morning.

Michelle, the owner, was great, and we had a fantastic (and delicious) meeting.  I'll write more about it - and about the cake - later, but first I want to tell you about the decadent dessert buffet we're creating!

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Actually, even before that, I'm going to share a conversation I had with our wonderful caterers about this.  Helen and Justin had sent me a few possible menus that all included dessert, and when I signed with them it was with the understanding that they'd provide (and I'd pay for) three courses.  Because I really respect their expertise and professionalism and because they've been so lovely to work with on a personal level, I wanted to check with them about hiring someone else to handle dessert - the last thing I wanted was to step on their toes.  But Helen was very happy for me to talk to someone who specializes in sweets about doing our whole buffet, and I'm enormously grateful because it means that Michelle and Jon and I are able to be really creative!

We'll have our formal (but unfussy) wedding cake, of course, but we're still set on not including a seated and plated dessert course.  Instead, we'll set up a bar of treats so that our guests can help themselves throughout the party bit of the evening.  We want to offer lots of options in terms of flavors and textures and things and we're still working out all of the finer details, but here are the kinds of sweets we're liking:

[ lemon cupcakes / raspberry bars / double chocolate cookies /  carrot cake whoopie pies ]

In case you were concerned, we are absolutely still hoping to provide a cheese cake - though this is very much exchange-rate dependent.  But the dessert buffet is definitely happening, so I want to hear from you, dear readers.  Did you have lots of sweets at your wedding?  What should we watch out for - any sure successes and/or disasters in the making?

linking up with something charming for Wedding Wednesdays

Follow Your Dreams (part two)

Last Monday, we talked about how sometimes blogging can put pressure on us to follow our dreams.  It's a lovely message, everyone agreed, but what if your dream isn't the same as the one being pushed by most lifestyle bloggers out there - or if you can't yet define your dream?  It's easy to feel intimidated by all of this encouragement because it's so emphatic; we're driven towards our dreams at speed by the galeforce winds of good wishes.

So that's what I want to highlight as (part two) of this series: the idea that achieving your dreams not a race.  Last Thursday, Liz over at explore.dream.discover wrote her own post on following your dreams, and I was fascinated by the comments she received.  One of them included a sentence that perfectly captured what concerns me about all the "break free" rhetoric out there:

I think life is just too short to do ANYTHING that doesn't bring us to the highest level of happiness.

Look, I don't disagree at all, in theory.  Life is too short to be unhappy.  But it takes time to discover what makes us happiest, and I think that we often don't want to afford ourselves that space because we feel that we're not living up to expectations if we don't know what we want right now and/or if we don't start going after it immediately.

There are some amazing bloggers out there - women just like us - who have identified their dreams and followed them through with amazing success.  They've put their noses to the grindstone and made sacrifices and now are working for themselves, doing exactly whatever it is that they want to be doing.  (Almost always, these dreams involve entrepreneurship.)  We look around our community and we see that social media consultant, who quit her day job  at 25 and now has a roster of graphic design and blogging clients; we see that wedding planner, who gave up being a lawyer at 27 and now has a schedule packed with top-tier events; we see that stylist, who came straight out of college and opened her own boutique at 22.  And we think, "What's wrong with me?"

These women, these incredible women, who are absolutely to be held up as an inspiration, are not the rule.  They are the exception to the rule.  I'm only 26, so I'm not completely positive, but I'm pretty sure that our 20s is the time where we're supposed to figure out what we want.  It's a decade for us to stretch, to get comfortable in our own skin, to learn about who we are and who we want to become, both personally and professionally.  Most of us, even if we can identify our dreams, need space and time to achieve them.  (Corner office, I'll be coming for you eventually.  Stay there for me!)  And we need to recognize this, because the pressure we put on ourselves to be happy - not to be happy, actually, but to achieve "the highest level of happiness" - can be limiting.  It can keep us from exploring everything around us, from opening up to new possibilities and welcoming unexpected opportunities, because we think, "There is my dream: I will draw a straight line to it and I'll never look away."

If you know what your dream is and you know how to follow it, I salute you; that is an achievement in and of itself and I wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart.  But if you're not on that path - if you haven't found your dream or if you don't know how to get there or if you know it will take time to get there - please believe that it's not a race.  You'll get there.  At your own time and in your own way, you'll get there.  And you'll be happier for it.

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Jewelry Tree

First of all, we need to take a moment of silence for all of the puns I could have used as the title for today's post.  I was tempted, but I held strong; they were all planted away for a better season.  Oh, wait - there was a pun right there!  Man, the urge to make a joke really takes root and...

Sorry.

I'm done now.

Promise.

via

See that picture up there?  I noticed it on chevrons & éclairs a few weeks ago and was inspired.  Now, you have to understand that my idea of DIY is going to Michael's and buying lots of crafty things and putting them all out on the dining room table and walking away and hoping that, by the time I return, they will have made themselves into something pretty.  (It never seems to work out that way, for some reason.)  So that was the first obstacle that I was up against when I decided I wanted to replace the functional-but-boring case I had been using for years with this kind of necklace storage/display.

The second obstacle was that I actually wanted to use my necklace tree.  That means that it would have to fit on a dresser that sees daily abuse and therefore isn't so bare as the one above.  Plus, it would have to be stable enough to hold an assortment of chains of different lengths and weights.

I think we can agree that the deck was stacked against me as I contemplated this project.

But, you know, many would say that I'm an accomplished woman.  If I could write a dissertation on twelfth-century issues of gender and sexuality, I could make a necklace tree.  I mean, right?  Right.  And here's how I did it.

How cool is that?  I don't think I've ever been more proud of myself.  I never should have doubted, you know.  After all, my mother is very crafty, and they say the apple doesn't fall far from...

Sorry.

The Parting Glass

A few days ago, Gillian left a comment on one of my posts about life in DC.  She admitted that she held herself back from fun activities while she was in a long distance relationship because she didn't have anyone to share them with.

Oh, girl.  I hear you.

Jon and I both make every effort to maintain full lives even when we're not together.  Because we'll be long distance for so many months, it's crucial that we continue moving forward rather than putting our futures on hold.  It also means that, when we do connect, we bring more to the table - we love each other in part for our diverse interests and experiences, and the adventures we have individually contribute to who we are as a couple.

That being said, it's sometimes heartbreaking to enjoy life without Jon.  I know I can; it's just that I'd really rather not.

Often, when I freeze in the middle of whatever I'm doing and wish that Jon were with me to share my adventures, I think of The Parting Glass, an old Irish folksong I stumbled on last spring.  It's a lovely melody of love and loss and joy and farewell.  I recorded it on my laptop last weekend, sitting on the porch in the morning sunlight, a mug of coffee in my hand and Charlie's head on my knee, in a moment of melancholy.



And so I want to close by wishing Jon a very happy anniversary, even from across an ocean.  The past four years, with all of their rollercoaster ups and downs and heres and theres, have been blessed.  I can't wait until we're together again next month for Thanksgiving - or until the day, sometime after our wedding in August, that we're able to be as man and wife.  I love you with all of my heart.

photo credit: Tarah Coonan

Frock Fridays: Costume Prep

Since Halloween is on a Wednesday this year, I won't be able to get up to much - Dad hates answering the door to trick-or-treaters and Mom will be out at a talk, so my grand excitement will be dressing Charlie up as a pumpkin (the zebra costume was too small for him, alas, though he did look very handsome) and trying to scare the children who ring our bell.

I'm hoping for some old-fashioned adult Halloween fun, though, when I visit my sister and her flatmate Erin in Boston at the end of the month.  The real reason I'm flying up is because they're running their first half-marathon on the 27th and I want to be at the finish line to cheer.  But Sarah's promised me a Halloween party on the Saturday night, and I'm beyond excited - I haven't been to a Halloween party in years.

It hurts me to say this, but I feel like I'm a bit old for the girl world rule, though that doesn't mean I can't try to look smashing!  Let's think of something that doesn't take too much creativity but is relatively original.... How about this?

 [ earrings / necklace / shoes / dress ]

Believe it or not, I bought my whole outfit at Target last weekend.  Can you tell I'm pumped?  (I'm pretty sure that people still say "pumped" but I definitely could be wrong.)  How about you, dear readers - what will you be for Halloween? 

Travel List Challenge

Last week, the lovely Jenna published her Travel List Challenge, based on this list of the top 100 world sites to visit.  She's checked 32 off her list and says, "Travel is without a doubt my biggest passion and if I got paid to travel around the world and document my life, I would do it in a heartbeat."  It got me thinking about how I travel and why - I love seeing new places and experiencing new cultures, but I'm not actually very adventurous when it comes to tripping around the globe.  My favorite way to travel is alongside someone who knows our destination.  I guess that, having grown up in DC and New York, I hate the idea of being a tourist and not knowing my way around.  I'd much rather be an insider.

But Jon is terribly adventurous and absolutely loves traveling, especially when there are no maps and no plans.  (His dream is to be able to take a few months off work and go from London to Ho Chi Minh City via train.  Bye, darling; have a nice time!)  So I thought that maybe he and I could make our own Top 25 Travel Challenge together using the official list as a guideline but crafting it to our interests.  We tried to mostly pick places that neither of us has been before, but we did include a few that one has been to but not the other.  In classically stereotypical fashion, red means that I've been there before and blue means Jon has.  Here goes!

We have done quite a bit of traveling together before.  Jon and I have very different M.O.s when it comes to globe-trotting, so we're still figuring out how best to compromise, but the trips have been amazing.  In the past few years, we've had less time to jet around (though we have gone to Ireland and up and down the East Coast of the United States), but in our first year of dating, when we were students, we went a bit wild:

Yeah, we've been pretty lucky.  But are we missing anything from our list?  Please give us more suggestions!

Wedding Wednesday: Flowers, Probably

Let's pick up where we left off last week: with my discovery that the local and seasonal flowers I had researched - that is to say, the flowers that grow in England at the end of the summer - are only local and seasonal in the best of all possible worlds.  Realistically, due to the variability of English weather, we have to come up with some other options for this aspect of our decor because we're being really cautious about sticking with our budget.  Suzanne and Becky and I are still in the midst of figuring out exactly which reasonably-priced flowers, imported from Holland, might stand in for my favorites, so unfortunately those details of our wedding aren't ready to be shared yet.

However, I can show you one of the ideas we're kicking around in terms of how we'd like to use the flowers we do end up finding!  Just imagine all of these images with poppies, garden roses, sweet peas, and ranunculus...

   [ clockwise from top left: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 ]

[ clockwise from left: 1 / 2 / 3 ]

I mean, why not recycle and save money while bringing the beauty of the ceremony to dinner?  I think that these flowers doing double-duty will help connect the whole wedding in a pretty and practical way.  What do you think, dear readers - have any of you done something similar?

linking up with something charming today

Face Off

Thanks for the amazing feedback on yesterday's post, dear readers; your comments were so encouraging and I got a few lovely private emails as well that confirmed that I'm not alone.  I know that things are often light and frivolous around here, but my sense of this blogging pressure was heavy on my heart and I needed to articulate how I felt.  But since we're already in the zone, shall we continue?  Because today I'd like to talk about something very serious...

... seriously scary, that is!  Just in time for Halloween, let's talk about face masks.

I'm really bad at taking care of my skin.  You know I'm a drugstore girl when it comes to products, but even then I only follow the most necessary steps.  When I deviate from my normal morning routine, I want it to be a cathartic experience -  I want my extra effort to be immediately and physically worthwhile if I go above and beyond simply cleansing and moisturizing.  And I don't know about you, but I think that pulling junk out of your skin is one of most satisfying things a girl can do in the bathroom.

That's why I don't go for face masks that rinse off.  Where's the fun in that?  I want to literally see the difference in my skin which is why, ever since my first Bioré Pore Strip in 7th grade, I've been on the hunt for one that I can examine afterwards for physical proof of success.  (Don't lie; you do it too.  We all do.)

Here's what I've found:

The Freeman Cucumber Facial Peel-Off Mask smelled lovely and dried gently and I felt like I should have been putting it on while wearing pink jammies surrounded by my best girlfriends singing Grease into my hairbrush.  There's definitely a place and time for that sort of thing, but I generally want my mask to be a bit more aggressive.

So I preferred the Simple Deep Cleansing Face Mask, which had more bite to it.  I like feeling my skin tighten slightly while the mask is drying because it assures me that things are happening - but this product is clear and therefore isn't as much fun to use.

That's why the Bliss No Zit Sherlock Break-out Busting Rubberizing Mask is the best I've tried so far.  It looks like cement when you mix it up and gloops on like clay and, as it dries, you lose the ability to move the muscles in your face.  It doesn't feel quite as acidic as the Simple mask, which is probably a healthy thing, but it definitely feels like it is penetrating into my pores.  And then taking if off was a blast - I mean, look at that thing up there!  Awesome.

This is how it works:

And then peel off and examine your beautiful refreshed skin!  To be honest, actually, I don't notice an immediate difference to my face after removing the mask when I do this in the evening, but I can certainly feel it and see it the next morning.

Bath and Body Works has a Purifying Peel Off Face Mask that I want to try, but I don't know of any others - do you have any suggestions, dear readers?  Until then, I'm sticking with Bliss!

Follow Your Dreams (part one)

Much of blogging is aspirational; I love that this medium affords us the opportunity to stretch our wings in new ways, to explore undiscovered paths through life and to access an infinite number of possible futures.  But I have to tell you, dear readers, that I feel like there's incredible pressure in this blogging world of ours to dream big in a very specific direction.  I wrote an open letter to 20-something lifestyle bloggers back in June, but my sense of this pressure has only intensified and I want to address it again.

Mackenzie Horan of Design Darling wrote last Thursday in defense of her decision to start her own business.  "It saddens me," she says, "to read backlash from people who write public, negative, and thinly-veiled commentary about those who have left salaried positions to strike out on their own."  As I'm not an entrepreneur, I haven't seen any of this criticism, though I understand it's out there.  However, what I have seen - and what I feel I keep seeing over and over and over again - are exhortations to break free and chart your own route.

I have the utmost respect for the women (and men) we read about who have the courage to walk away from the familiar world of desk jobs and conference rooms and staff meetings into the unknown of working for themselves.  But I'm afraid that, in our community, that exact kind of courage seems to be the only sort we praise unequivocally. Sure, everybody will leave you lovely notes of congratulations if you get a raise or a promotion at work.  But I don't know that this community appreciates that asking for that raise or applying for that promotion takes courage, too.  It really seems to me like a professional announcement isn't good enough if it's not a proclamation along the lines of "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty I'm free at last."

And that actually seems more stifling than anything else.  We talk about how we're here for each other and I truly do believe that we are, deep down, but I also think that we need to broaden our definition of what it means to follow your dreams.  Some of us can't wait until we can go completely freelance.  Some of us can't wait until we can claim the corner office.  Some of us don't yet know what we're waiting for or striving for - and that's okay, because it's important for us to feel like we're in a safe space that gives us the freedom and flexibility to figure it out in our own time.

It's possible that I'm blowing this out of proportion.  After all, I work in a creative industry and I love it, but my goal is to head into the corporate world, where I can't get away with jersey dresses and flip flops on a regular basis and where there's an endless supply of logo'd pencils and legal pads.  Maybe I just don't see many women like me in our blogging community and maybe I'm feeling a bit outnumbered.  But even if that's the case, it's important to highlight the fact that we can do whatever we want - and that should take whatever shape we each want it to.

Dreaming big is important, but so is dreaming for yourself.  We should all encourage unique dreams, even if they're dreams we don't understand.  This community can't move forward without them.

In Which I Borrow Children (And Become One)

Living with your parents in your mid-twenties can be a bit confusing; on the one hand, you're grown-up enough to contribute to the logistical functioning of the household but, on the other hand, you sometimes ask your mother to sit and read with you before bed.  (That last bit might just be me, actually.  No shame.)

However regularly I jump between adult and child, though, I knew I needed a few small sidekicks for my ideal autumn afternoon.  I called up the father of the girls I used to babysit here in DC and asked if I could borrow them on Columbus Day.  He didn't quite understand why I wanted a playdate with two kids under the age of 10 on a day off but he was grateful for a few hours to himself, so I swung by their house on Monday just before lunchtime to pick up Lily and Jessica for our adventure.

We first stopped to choose our pumpkins - the rule was that you had to be able to carry it from the store to the car by yourself - and then headed back to my house for mac and cheese (with bacon sprinkled on top, obviously) and tomato soup.  After lunch and a good romp with Charlie in the backyard, we set to work on the pumpkins.  I didn't get many pictures once the real effort was underway, but I'm sure you can imagine how much fun we had!

Lily got bored after a while, so she went inside and had a pow-wow with my mother while Jess and I finished our pumpkins.  When we came back inside, we found steaming mugs of hot chocolate waiting for us, which we took downstairs to enjoy in front of a movie.  We laughed and sang along to Enchanted - one of my very favorite Disney films of the last decade - until their stepmother came to collect them and they left, leaving lots of hugs and kisses for both me and Charlie.  It was a glorious afternoon of regression, and I can't wait to find an excuse for another playdate with them!

I hope you have a lovely weekend, full of childish joy and love.

Frock Fridays: Saturday in the Park

A few weeks ago, a blogger who I'd recently found (via Whitney) offered her services as a photographer to local readers.  Lauren is building her portfolio, and I selflessly offered to meet her near Annapolis for a shoot next weekend.  No, that's a total lie - I mean, I am helping her out, but I'm also excited to have some great photos taken of me and Charlie by a budding talent!

We're going to Quiet Waters; I've never been, but Lauren says it's beautiful and I confirmed that they're dog-friendly, so it should be a great afternoon.  The plan at the moment is for us to meet a few hours before sunset to catch the light.  Since it's a bit of a drive from my house, Mom and Dad are going to come and we'll all wander around historic Annapolis and the harbor for a while before Charlie and I head off to meet Lauren.  (This isn't a town I'm familiar with, so please do share recommendations if you have any!)  Charlie may or may not feel like being cooperative for the session, so my brilliant idea is that we'll go for a really long run in the late morning, let him nap during the drive, and then keep him relatively active once we get to Annapolis and the park so that he'll be sedate by the time we want to take pictures.  (If you're a dog owner and have any other suggestions, please do let me know!)

A dress might not be the most practical for this in case Charlie decides to go bat-out-of-Hell on me, but I do want to be cute for the shoot, so here's something similar to what I'd like to wear.  Perfect for an autumn afternoon in the park with your trusty canine companion and a photographer, right?

[ dress / belt / boots / earrings / necklace / socks / leash ]